Life is Good

Some people are special in the sense that whenever you think of them you can only remember them spreading joy. Brock embodied a happy personality and kind charismatic soul day in and day out for 70 000 odd some days.

We joke that Brock was the only man who had 36 hours in his day because he accomplished far more than anyone else could in 20 years. His spontaneity and ability to laugh at himself left him fearless, ambitious and most of all inspirational.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I knew Brock from elementary and middle school. His big ears, quirky smile, lanky arms and spiky hair demanded attention from the moment you saw him but his captivating laugh and pun-intended jokes were what truly held you captivated for hours on end as he re-told stories over and over and over again. I’m sure you loved seeing us all sign your casket Brock, with tales you once told us or formed by our side.

They say grief is the price we pay for love and boy is Brock ever loved. I have never seen so many flowers at a visitation, or attendees at a funeral. From past teachers to present friends, babysitters to neighbours, distant friends of friends to close family members, over 350 people flooded the funeral home to pay their respect to Brock. Brock has always been the one that brings people together and he continues to do so as we support one another through this hard time. Even under these tragic circumstances, it was incredible to be reunited with elementary school friends. By sharing memories, revisiting photographs and distracting ourselves with hugs, I found myself receiving a bit of closure on the situation. It was heart wrenching for me to see Brock’s girlfriend, one of my good friends, but I am proud of her for staying so strong. Brock would not have wanted her or anyone for that matter to feel upset which is how Brock’s entire family managed to remain fairly composed. I on the other hand, was a complete mess and even managed to smear waterproof mascara on several occasions.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Losing Brock was an incredible lesson to value the little things in life. While his passing was a reminder that we are not invincible and should always wear our seatbelts, it also taught us to never take opportunities for granted. His final words on Facebook were oh so fitting in remarking “Life is Good”. As mentioned in a speech yesterday, life is good but Brock is incredible.

Brock was one of the few people that would text you in the middle of the night to ask how you were doing. He was one of a kind in the sense that he’d never be too tired to go out, never be too busy to offer advice and never be too poor to shower you with gifts and generosity. He was a daredevil to say the least which is why he’d end up with nose bleeds during cross country skiing, or two broken arms at the same time. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t seen Brock in a couple months; your conversation with him was picked up where you left off. Appearance and intelligence didn’t matter, his love was unconditional regardless unless of course he wanted me to edit his paper, which became a habitual request this past year during his university education.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Maya Angelou once quoted that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Brock made me amongst many others, feel so special. He truly made the world a happier and better place. Brock continues to inspire me to be the best version of myself. He has pushed me out of my comfort zone and his passing was a final reminder to live my life to it’s full potential. There is no excuse, believe in yourself and get it done. A man never truly dies until he is forgotten. Looking back I cannot remember a time when Brock was upset or angry, but there are far too many memories of him grinning to not recall. My fondest memories are of my grade 7 and 8 Brock-o-li but seeing you at cottages and getting together with you as I grew older was very much appreciated as well. Brock, you will continue to touch so many people as you live on in stories. You are already so missed. Celebrating your life isn’t the same without you in it. ♥ Molly

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill

Forever in My Prayers

Grieving feels as though I got punched in the stomach. It’s as if I ran into a brick wall and am forever winded. I wouldn’t say I’m afraid or worried, but I feel extremely frustrated, scared, confused, angry, alone and inevitably hopeless. I just feel off, like something is missing and find myself asking why too frequently. I’m restless, I’m zoned out, I’m numb, I’ve cried a lot, and I can’t seem to nap or fall asleep.

They say time heals wounds but right now it feels impossible to recover after hearing the news that a longtime friend whom I love passed away Monday morning. I was shielded from his death until Tuesday afternoon, probably for my own best interest since I was embarking on the transition into University.

I don’t really know how grief eventually gets better and becomes less intense because right now even the smallest of connections reminds me of his passing. Yesterday the motivational speaker talked about how so many frosh students lose a loved one but I never expected it to be me, or at least not in my first week back on campus. The back of my Brescia shirt says “My life was flipped turned upside down” which rings true to my current emotions, but again that isn’t what it was intended for (90s theme).

While I don’t blame myself, it’s hard not to live in regret and wish that I could reverse time. He was a nice guy. Anyone who knew him knew he was entertaining and full of joy. In fact, looking back the only memories I have were all positive. We weren’t best friends but we kept in touch despite attending different high schools. I remember when he came and watched me sew pants during a fashion competition. I associate coming in second place with his positive energy and big smile. He really did cheer me on and I enjoyed re-connecting with him over a pasta dinner that night.

A few weeks ago he was in the area and asked me to go for coffee with him. I turned him down and boy do I wish I hadn’t. It’s hard but I have to move on from feeling guilty because I know he would rather us all be happy than mourning.

I’m headed home for a celebration of his life this weekend. Knowing him was a gift and he will continue to live on in stories, pictures and fond memories. By no means was I his best friend, but it hurts just the same. I remember being in his company at cottages, him teasing me for being an overachiever, and up until recently, knowing a lot about what was going on in his life through text messages.

My condolences go out to his family and all of those who knew him. I am so blessed to have such nice friends here at Western to support me. Thank you again for the kind words, hugs and even snacks. It will be nice to return to Oakville so that I can remember his achievements alongside our mutual friends. Being only 20, he was taken from our lives much too soon and will forever be missed.

Words cannot describe how much you continue to mean to so many people. You will always make the world a better place. This post does not give your life justice at all. You are so loved. Rest in Peace. Heaven has gained an incredible Angel. ♥ Molly

“Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II